“English Only, Please!”

You’d think a docent at a place called “Gardens of the World” would be more receptive to world languages, but apparently to some a rós is not a rose.

Language discrimination. You hear about it all the time.

A young woman is standing in a supermarket line, talking on the phone to her mother in Spanish, and someone taps her on the shoulder and says “This is America. We speak English here.”

Two college students are chatting in Arabic on the underground in London, and a big guy gets in their faces and tells them to bugger off back to their “own country.”

A couple of women go on holiday in Wales and come back red-faced and angry because “They were speaking Welsh in the pub, and we know they were talking about us!”

You hear about it, and it makes you angry, but you never really, truly internalize it until it happens to you.

Welcome to the World

I  spent this past weekend thoroughly enjoying the annual Los Angeles-area Deireadh Seachtaine Gaeltachta (Irish language immersion weekend), which was held this year in Thousand Oaks, CA. This was my fifth year at this event, and I always look forward to it. Wonderful people, An Ghaeilge an t-am ar fad…what’s not to love?

I’ll write more about the L.A. DSG a little later this week (I have a lot of photos and memories to organize!). I had a wonderful time! But right now I want to write about something that happened to some of us on the last day of the weekend, because it was very upsetting to all of us, and not something I feel I can let slide.

On Sunday, the last day of the DSG, a group of us decided to visit the nearby Gardens of the Worlda botanical garden in the heart of Thousand Oaks.

Gardens of the World was established by Irish-American entrepreneurs Ed and Lynn Hogan as “a striking monument to commemorate the various cultures of the world.” It consists of five different gardens, each one dedicated to a particular world culture.

“Field trips” are a fun feature of the L.A. DSG…a chance to speak Irish in a different setting, with different conversational topics. As Gardens of the World is no more than a mile from where we were holding our classes, it seemed like a perfect place to spend some time on a Sunday afternoon, speaking Irish and enjoying the beautiful early summer weather.

Seeming is Not, Alas, Believing

I really wish I could say that the Gardens of the World was a good experience. I wanted it to be a good experience. I’d had a wonderful weekend, I love botanical gardens, and this seemed like a perfect cap to the occasion.

Sadly, things went pear-shaped rather quickly.

Three of us arrived shortly before the others and, noticing the very small parking lot, politely asked one of the docents if there were other places to park nearby. We were treated to an officious lecture about how limited space is in the gardens (it really isn’t all that limited, nor was it particularly crowded!). It was very clear that our little group presented a huge problem to this person, and she wanted to be sure we knew just how big a problem we were.*

Nothing like first impressions, eh?

Eventually the rest of our group found parking, and we set off to enjoy the gardens, chatting as Gaeilge.

A second confrontation

We hadn’t been in the gardens 15 minutes when we were confronted again, by the same docent.

We’d stopped at a display of the California missions and one of our number had begun to talk (in Irish, of course) about the missions and the role they played in the history of California,  for the sake of those among us who were from out of state.

Suddenly this woman confronted us again. She accused us of “conducting a private tour.” She accused the person who had been talking about the missions of “using an amplification device” (she wasn’t).  She complained again about the size of our group. Then she said the thing that turned our irritation into shock and outright anger:

“We can’t have you doing this in a foreign language, because we don’t know what you’re saying.”

To say that we were gobsmacked would be putting it mildly.

I have no idea what she thought we might have been saying that could possibly have been so bad that she felt threatened by the language we were speaking. Horrible things, such as “The Japanese garden is all about tranquility” or “The missions were established by the Spanish”? Or maybe “Roses are my favorite flower?” Or perhaps she thought we were talking about her, like the women in the Welsh pub?

You’d think a docent at a place called “Gardens of the World” would be more receptive to world languages, but apparently to some a rós is not a rose.

Well, we continued on our “tour,” and we didn’t stop speaking Irish, but that line continued to fester, and when we got back to the place where our classes were being held. we talked about it for a bit.

California is a state that people of many tongues call home, and that many more visit every year. There is no excuse for language discrimination in any place, but in a place as diverse as Southern California, it’s absolutely absurd.

I found it particularly ironic that this happened in a place that was established by a family with the surname “Hogan.” I don’t know if Ed and Lynn Hogan spoke Irish, but their ancestors certainly would have. And they would have faced terrible discrimination — a form of bigotry and cultural genocide that came very close to eradicating the language altogether.

I volunteered to write a letter, which I have done. If I hear back from them, I’ll update this post with their response.

Why the fear?

I’ve never understood the xenophobia that makes some people suspicious or resentful of those who speak another language.

Are some people actually so self-centered that they think that people speaking another language are talking about them? Really?

It’s a big world, full of people of divers tongues and cultures. To my mind, one of the best parts of living in the 21st century is the opportunity we have, thanks to the internet, to communicate with people all over the world…to learn about languages and customs that our ancestors never had the chance to experience.

It’s time to let go of the fear. To learn to appreciate and enjoy diversity, rather than to resent and shun it. It’s time to celebrate the human family in all its wonderful variations.

A garden full of flowers of all the same color, shape, and scent, after all, would be a very dull place indeed.

Le meas,

GG

* In the interest of full disclosure, there is a line, buried in the small print on Gardens of the World’s website, asking groups of six or more to contact the gardens before they come. We  hadn’t seen it. We weren’t a large group, but there were more than six of us, and had we seen it, we most certainly would have called. And, had this been explained to us politely when we showed up, we would have been happy to break into smaller groups, as the reason we were given for the problem with larger groups was that they’re concerned about big groups interfering with the “traffic flow” in the gardens. Unfortunately, we were shown no politeness whatsoever — in fact, we were lectured as if we were naughty, and not particularly bright, little children — which, by the way, are also apparently not welcome in the gardens!

 

O Say, Can You Say…?

Irish pronunciation: You can learn it. You CAN crack the code. And I’m going to tell you how.

In the 14+ years I’ve been learning Irish, I’ve noticed that, among learners (including myself), there’s a particular pattern of what I call “freakoutage” — i.e., things that make you clutch your hair and moan “Oh no! I’ll never learn this!”

It’s a very particular pattern, and it goes like this:

  • Freaking out about pronunciation
  • Freaking out about dialects
  • Freaking out about the use of tá vs. is.
  • Freaking out about how to answer “yes/no” questions
  • Freaking out about Irish verbs in general
  • Freaking out about certain verb forms

And it’s not just beginners! Far from it! In fact, I was once part of a class of advanced learners — people who can chat fairly comfortably on a wide variety of topics — who froze in wide-eyed, open-mouthed horror when the teacher cheerfully suggested “Let’s practice the modh coinníollach!

(The modh coinníolach is the conditional verb form — would, could, should, etc. — and for some reason that I really don’t understand it strikes terror into the hearts of Irish learners everywhere).

At some point I hope to talk about each of these in this blog, but for right now, let’s start with the most basic.

The elephant in the room: pronunciation

Once you’ve cracked the code, it can be hard to believe that you ever struggled with Irish pronunciation.

For an absolute beginner, however, the first time you look at an Irish word and then hear it pronounced (and realize that nothing that came out of the speaker’s mouth sounded remotely as you’d assumed it would), the prospect of actually learning to speak the language can seem pretty overwhelming.

The truth is that Irish spelling and pronunciation are surprisingly regular, particularly when compared with English (the language that gives us “through,” “though,” and “tough,” to name just a few of English’s inconsistencies!).

You can learn it. You CAN crack the code. And I’m going to tell you how.

First, forget all you think you know

Usually the first thing I hear when I pronounce an Irish word for someone is “How can that possibly make those sounds?” 

People tend to assume that letters have more or less absolute values, and that, perhaps with a few exceptions, they should sound more or less in one language as they do in another.

Language learners learn fairly quickly that that’s not always the case. Some letters and letter combinations in Irish sound like their counterparts in English, but many do not. Sometimes the difference is subtle and sometimes it’s quite marked.

Irish words also often seem to have more letters than they could possibly need.  One reason for this is an Irish spelling convention that dictates that a vowel on one side of a consonant or consonant combination must be matched with a vowel of the same type on the other side.

This rule is referred to as caol le caol agus leathan le leathan (“slender with slender and broad with broad”).  The “slender” vowels are i and e, and the broad vowels are a, o, and u. Often, when you find three vowels together in Irish, one of them is there simply to satisfy this spelling rule.

Add this to the fact that consonants and consonant combinations often make very different sounds to their counterparts in English, and you can find just about everything you know about spelling turned upside down.

If you go in without the expectation that things will “sound like they’re spelled” (a phrase I’ve come to hate, as they DO sound like they’re spelled…if you speak Irish! English is not the arbiter of the alphabet!), you’ll have an easier time right from the start.

Next: Forget Phonetics

It is so very tempting, when you hear an Irish word, to write it out using English phonics, or to ask the teacher to do so for you. So it may come as a surprise to you when I say that this is one of the WORST things you can do if you truly want to learn to read Irish as written.

There are a lot of reasons why writing things out “phonetically” is a bad idea. Here are just a few of them:

  • The sounds of Irish cannot be accurately represented by English phonics.* Consider the word gaoth (wind) for example. When people attempt to write it with English phonics, it usually gets set down as “gwee.” The problem is, while there is a sound in there that sounds a little like an English “w,” it’s not precisely equivalent. You can hear it pronounced in the three major dialects here:

    Gaoth
  • Phonetic renderings impose an extra step between your ear, your eye, your mind, and your mouth. When you use English phonics to describe Irish sounds, you’re not really learning to associate the sounds with the Irish spelling, which can make learning to read and pronounce Irish doubly difficult.
  • Phonetic renderings can quickly become a crutch. I’ve known several people who never have learned to pronounce Irish as written, even after years of study, because they haven’t been able wean themselves off their English phonetic renderings (and at least one guy who claims it’s “impossible” to learn how to pronounce Irish as written and is trying to promote a new, English-based Irish spelling system. How sad is that?).

* Someone here is bound to mention IPA. Yes, the International Phonetic Alphabet is capable of representing pretty much any sound. It also takes just about as much time to to learn as Irish phonics, and presents the same problem as using English phonetics when it comes to putting a barrier between you and the written language. Save the IPA for another day.

See it; hear it; say it

So how do you learn to pronounce written Irish? The answer is so simple you’re going to think I’m pulling your leg. So simple, and yet so vital:

  • You see the word or phrase
  • You listen to a recording of the word or phrase
  • You say the word or phrase

What you need to do is establish a link between the word as it appears, the word as it sounds, and the word as it’s said. There is absolutely no substitute for this kind of practice if you want to learn to read Irish as written.

Don’t sit there and think to yourself “How can this possibly be pronounced like that?” Just accept that it is and learn it. It really is just that simple, and you’ll be surprised at just how quickly it works.

Of course, there are details

They say the devil is in the details, and if you want this method to work well for you, you need to give that devil his due. If you go about this randomly, at best it will take much longer to learn and at worst you may find yourself so confused that you give up.

Here are a few words of advice:

  • If you don’t have a teacher, pick ONE self-teaching method that has both a written and an aural component and stick with that one until you’ve finished it. This is important advice for learning Irish in general, and especially important if you want to get a solid grasp on how to read it as written. Don’t worry about dialects at this point. You’re just trying to get the basics, without confusing yourself too much. Once you’ve got those down, you can adjust your pronunciation as needed. I list several good resources in my blog post “Beyond Duolingo.”
  • If you do have a teacher, ask him or her if you can make a recording of vocabulary words and phrases/sentences from the unit you’re working on.
  • For now, avoid YouTube “pronunciation” videos. Yes, all of them (unless, of course, they’re part of the self-teaching method you’re using or of the program your teacher is using). Some of them are good, some are “meh,” and some are outright horrible. You don’t want to confuse yourself, and you certainly don’t want to establish bad habits right from the start! Those videos can wait until you’re a little farther along.
  • Practice daily, or more frequently if possible. Spend at least a few minutes every day working with your recordings. Look at the word or phrase you’re learning while you play the recording and again while you try to emulate the recording. See it; hear it; say it. Some self-learning programs, such as “Enjoy Irish!,” even have apps available for your phone, so you can spend a few minutes practicing during your lunch break (or on the bus or train if you don’t mind people looking at you funny!).
  • Every so often, reverse the order: Look at the word or phrase first, try to say it, and then compare what you said to the recording. This will allow you to assess your progress. When you get to the point where you’re pronouncing things correctly most of the time, and it’s just a matter of refining pronunciation rather than trying to work out how all the letters sound, you’ll know you’ve cracked the code.

Practice makes perfect

It may be a cliché, but it’s true nevertheless. If you work like this a little each day, pronunciation of written Irish will come to you more quickly than you may have dreamed possible when you first began.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there, get a good learning method (if you don’t have one already) and start practicing!

And while you’re at it, don’t forget to have a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day! Lá ‘le Pádraig sona daoibh!

Happy Learning!

GG

 

Irish Tattoos That Make Us Cringe

It’s March, and St. Patrick’s Day is in the air! To celebrate, my publisher and I have put up a “Bad Tattoo” post on Bored Panda.

It’s a promotion for the book, of course, but it’s also a great antidote for all the kitsch that comes our way at this time of year.

It may seem surprising, but reading and doing tattoo translations can actually be a good way to learn basic Irish-language concepts, including sentence structure, idiom, and the use of articles and the genitive case.

And if schadenfreude is your thing, looking at these particular tattoo “translations” will definitely scratch that itch!

Enjoy, and if you’re so inclined, please share! The world needs more exposure to Irish and fewer bad Irish tattoos!

Erin Go Wut?! Real-Life Irish Tattoos That Make Us Cringe

Happy March!

GG

Yu Ming’s Revenge

Irish pops up when you least expect it!

When you study a minority language, you’re always looking for evidence that it still exists out there, beyond the classroom or the immersion course.

With a language such as Irish, which suffers from an identity crisis here in the U.S. (“Don’t you mean Gaelic?”), and which many Americans seem to think is dead, if they know it ever existed at all (“You mean they have their own language?”), it sometimes surprises me when I encounter it at all.

And yet, there it is, popping up when I least expect it.

From Tattoos to T-Shirts

I’ll be the first to admit that most of this “pop-up Irish” is (usually) minimalist, to say the least. It’s things such as spotting the word “fáilte” among other world languages on a “welcome” poster on the door of an elementary school classroom, or the word “uisce” among other words meaning “water” on a decorative fountain.

And sometimes, alas, the Irish that crops up is horrifyingly bad. I mean, have a look at this guy’s T-shirt. And don’t even get me started on the bad Irish tattoos I’ve seen! (Actually, you don’t need to get me “started,” as I often blog about them, and even wrote an entire book dedicated to helping people avoid them!)

But every now and then I’ll get a real surprise, such as the time the person in the visitors’ booth in downtown Santa Cruz greeted me with Cén chaoi a bhfuil tú? (“How are you?” in Connacht Irish)* or the time the lady in San Francisco, spotting my An bhfuil Gaeilge agat? (“Do you speak Irish?”) T-shirt, said “Tá neart Gaeilge agam! Is múinteoir Gaeilge mé!” (“I have a lot of Irish! I’m an Irish teacher!”).

These are the encounters you live for, and one unexpected Irish encounter such as these can brighten my entire day! Unfortunately, for most of us, they’re too few and too seldom.

Well, I had one last week, and I’m going to tell you about it, but first…

Yu Ming is Ainm Dom

If you’re an Irish speaker or learner and haven’t seen the wonderful short film Yu Ming is Ainm Dom (“My Name is Yu Ming”), first, have you been living under a rock? And second, you need to see it. Here’s a link: Yu Ming is Ainm Dom.

It’s only about 10 minutes long. Go ahead…I’ll wait. It’s relevant.

Synopsis

Just in case you’re in a hurry (Or you can’t listen to a video because you’re at work. Do have a listen later, though), here’s the basic plot:

Yu Ming is a young Chinese man who becomes bored with his life as a shop worker and decides to relocate. A spin of the globe lands him in Ireland, and a glance at an atlas tells him that the country’s official language is “Gaelic.”

For the next six months he works hard at learning Irish, becoming increasingly more comfortable with the language. Finally the big day comes, and he hops on a plane bound for Dublin.

At first he’s pleased and excited to see the signs in Irish all around the airport, on the busses, etc. Things come crashing down, however, when he realizes that no one understands him when he tries to speak it.

After days of looking for work and trying to get by, poor Yu Ming decides that he doesn’t have very good Irish after all…until a chance meeting with a man in a bar (played by the wonderful Frank Kelly) reveals that he actually has MORE Irish than most people in Ireland, where English, alas, is the majority language.

(It’s a sad commentary on the state of Irish in much of Ireland, but don’t worry…the film has a happy ending!)

Yu Ming’s Revenge

This story is important, not only because it’s a great short film, but also because it made my most recent Irish encounter all the sweeter.

When I’m not speaking in Irish, writing about Irish, dissecting Irish tattoos, or making music, I work as an editor for a market research firm. The people who take part in our survey panels earn points, which they can exchange for PayPal payouts or Amazon gift cards, and one of my jobs is to redeem their points for them.

We have panelists from all over the world, but last week was my first time encountering one from China. This person wanted an Amazon gift card. Unfortunately, the Amazon China website is in…well…Chinese.

Because of the French and Latin I took in high school and college, I can generally manage navigating Amazon in French, Italian, or Spanish, but Chinese is an entirely different story. I didn’t even know where to start!

I opened it in Chrome and tried to use the translate utility to render the page in English, but kept getting the message “Unable to translate this page.”

The layout was also quite different from the Amazon sites I’m more accustomed to, so I couldn’t use that for a guide. I copied blocks of text into Google Translate (see how desperate I was?), but without the page layout, the fragments I got weren’t of much help to me.

Out of frustration, I tried again to use Chrome to translate the page. I got the same message. Then I realized there was a drop-down menu for other languages. I said “I wonder…”. Nah…never happen! But I wonder…”.

Famous last words! Sure enough, I chose “Irish” and the page translated with no problem!

Was it perfect Irish? No. Far from it (you can see an example in the picture above). But it was readable Irish (and, for me, one heck of a lot more readable than the Chinese), and it was such a surprise, I swear they could hear me laughing in China!

Never let anyone tell you that Irish is a “dead” or “useless” language. It’s out there, and we should treasure every opportunity we have to speak or read it.

And somewhere in Connemara, I think, someone named Yu Ming is smiling.

* Venus, the lovely person who runs the information booth in downtown Santa Cruz, has tried to learn basic greetings in as many languages as possible. She saw my harp necklace and guessed that I was Irish. Sure took me by surprise, and she had good pronunciation to boot!


In addition to being “The Geeky Gaeilgeoir,” Audrey Nickel is the author of  The Irish Gaelic Tattoo Handbook,” published by Bradan Press, Nova Scotia, Canada.  For information about the book, including where to buy it, please visit http://www.bradanpress.com/irish-tattoo-handbook/

Sometimes Bad is Bad

What is it about us Irish learners that makes us willing to settle for shite?

So here’s a legitimate question:

What is it about us as Irish learners that makes us willing to settle for shite? Or, worse, line up to defend it?

You see them everywhere you look on the internet: Free or low-cost posters, calendars, “translators,” and teaching materials and videos that are absolutely rife with mistakes. Misspellings, incorrect word usage, mispronunciations, grammatical issues, Béarlachas (Anglicized Irish)…you name it, you’ll find it.

Worse, you’ll find people who not only lap this stuff up, they bristle at anyone who criticizes it.

I’m not talking about the occasional typo, misstatement, or brain fart here. They happen to all of us (If you want to hear how many mistakes I can make in one hour, just follow me around at any Irish immersion weekend! As soon as I open my mouth, everything I know about Irish grammar seems to go out the window!)

I’m not even talking about the occasional mistake that gets past editors and proofreaders. Anyone who’s ever published knows just how often those happen! Heck, an entire school of literary criticism was caused by a typesetter’s error in Moby Dick!

It’s a matter of attitude

What I’m talking about is amateur-produced learning/teaching materials….specifically about learning materials published by people who are not only not qualified to be putting out such materials, they, frankly, don’t give a damn about the quality of what they produce .

Why is it that, when “learning” materials are published with tons of mistakes, by people who just shrug and say “I don’t have the time to worry about that” when those mistakes are pointed out to them, we say “well, at least they’re trying” instead of calling them out on it? What, exactly, are they “trying” to do? Teach people how to speak Irish incorrectly? Or maybe line their pockets? Or perhaps get their 15 minutes of fame?

Or maybe it’s all of the above.

Worse, why do we promote such materials? “They’re nice people” isn’t a good enough reason. There are good learning materials out there that we should be promoting, and maybe those “nice people” should be using those to learn a bit of Irish instead of trying to create materials of their own.

(Oh, and those reliable learning materials are also produced by nice people. Nice people who know what they’re doing).

Who’s attracting whom?

Another argument I’ve heard in favor of promoting these materials is “At least they’re attracting people to the language.” But is that really the case?

I submit that the people they’re “attracting” are people who are already drawn to the language. Those people may have been searching for a tattoo translation, for a name for a child, for a transcription of a memorial, or for a translation for a book or poem, but the interest in Irish was already there.

In nearly 14 years of learning Irish, I have yet to meet someone who was just surfing along, minding his or her business, when suddenly up pops a video or a poster and it’s “A ha! I think I’ll start learning Irish!”

I think that, if anything, these “resources” are distracting learners from looking for or finding good learning materials.

“Nothing” isn’t the only option

Why do we look at materials that are full of mistakes and say “well, they’re better than nothing,” when “nothing” isn’t the only choice? There are plenty of good, reliable Irish learning resources out there. Most of them don’t cost all that much, and some of them are even free of charge! You can check some of them out here: Beyond Duolingo.

The internet is your friend if you know how to use it, but when you’re a beginning language student, it’s best to use it with a bit of caution and guidance.

“The goodness of their hearts”?

And what’s all this I hear about “It’s OK because they’re doing this out of the goodness of their hearts”? First of all, that’s not always the case. Secondly, since when has that been a good reason to promote substandard learning materials?

Mistakes happen, but…

Mistakes happen…we all know that. At least we writers know that!! Typos, printer errors, and just plain old “what was I thinking?” When most of us make mistakes, as soon as we realize them, we’re sorry and we say so, and we try to put things right.

But when those mistakes happen and the response is “I don’t have the time to proof my work” or “oh well…the computer will figure it out eventually,” or “gee, she’s doing her best!” why the hell do we say that’s OK?

Worse, why do we suggest that new learners use these resources? Doesn’t this language, and its learners, deserve better than that?

Is “broken Irish” really better than “clever English”?

There’s a saying you’ll encounter if you spend much time around Irish language speakers and learnersIs fearr Gaeilge bhriste ná Béarla cliste — “Broken Irish is better than clever English.”

It’s meant to encourage people to use what Irish they have without fear of making mistakes, and in that way, it’s a good thing. Speaking and using a language is very different from simply learning to read or understand it, and you can’t learn to speak a language if you’re afraid to open your mouth.

And Irish learners have more and more opportunities to do just that. Facebook sites such as “Gaeilge Amháin,” for intermediate and advanced speakers and “Irish for Beginners” for newer learners give people the chance to practice their Irish in a safe and supportive forum.

Increasingly more and more on-line opportunities are springing up for people who want to practice their spoken  and written Irish. Immersion weekends, week-long courses, and conversation groups are also becoming increasingly common throughout the world.

And, of course, there’s the “Pop-Up Gaeltacht” movement!

In spaces and groups such as these, of course “Broken Irish is better than clever English.” Speaking fearlessly is an important part of the learning process.

But learning and teaching materials are an entirely different story. What you learn as a beginner can be very hard to shake off later, so learning materials — especially those designed for self-teaching or for listening practice — need to be as correct as they possibly can be. In these cases, Is fearr Gaeilge bhriste ná Béarla cliste” definitely does NOT apply.

Just say “no”

It’s time, and more than time, that we stop giving poor quality learning materials a “pass.”  If people want to put stuff out there to help people learn, that’s wonderful. But we need to insist that these people do whatever they can to make sure that what they produce is correct, including FIXING problems when they’re pointed out.

More importantly, we need to stop referring people to incorrect resources, when really good, solid, self-teaching methods are already available.

We need to start taking pride in this language we love. It deserves no less.

You Know You’ve Been Studying Irish Too Long When…

Fadó, fadó, ar an idirlíon…

Once upon a time, there was a lovely little Irish discussion and translation forum on the internet.

The members of the forum were good friends and, when they weren’t busy doing tattoo translations, discussing the tuiseal ginideach and the modh coinníolach, or dissing the Caighdeán Oifigiúil, they enjoyed playing word games.

Favorite games included Fiche Ceist (“Twenty Questions”) and Raight Inglís Iúsuinn Aighrís Fáinics (“Write English Using Irish Phonics”). These games were educational as well as a lot of fun.

Fiche Ceist, for example, was a great way to sort out the difference between Tá and Is, and Raight Inglís Iúsuinn Aighrís Fáinics really helped new learners get a handle on the Irish spelling system (which is a lot easier than you might think).

One day a member of the forum, having just had an amusing (if a little embarrassing) experience at a Mexican restaurant, invented a new game: “You Know You’ve Been Studying Irish Too Long When…”.

The goal, of course, was to finish the above sentence.

The game was an immediate hit, and the responses ranged from the rueful to the hilarious. Unlike the other games, it wasn’t particular educational, but it was definitely a bonding experience for people learning a minority language.

Just for fun, then (and because we can all use a little bonding), play along! Come on…we’ve all been there! Finish the sentence! Here are some of the best from the archives of The Irish Language Forum:

You Know You’ve Been Studying Irish Too Long When…

You find you have an incredible urge to lenite words following “the,” “my,” and “your,”regardless of what language they’re in.

You run across an English word starting with “ch,” “th” etc., and you find yourself automatically converting it to “root” form.

You realize that “ng” seems like a perfectly logical and normal way to start a word.

English words start to look wrong if they don’t follow the “caol le caol” rule.

You want to look up “lenition” in an English dictionary, and realize after about 10 minutes that the reason you can’t find it is because “lenition” doesn’t begin with an “s” in English.

After spending time looking at a site with songs in Welsh, Manx, Scottish Gaelic or Cornish, you find it a relief to run across a song with “normal looking” (i.e., Irish) words.

You find yourself swearing at other drivers on the freeway and realize the reason they’re giving you baffled looks is they have no idea what you’re saying.

You say “hello” to your neighbor and she gives you a funny look because, in her world, “hello” starts with an “h”…and just who are you calling a “witch,” anyway???

Your idea of a dream vacation changes from a week at Club Med to a week at Oideas Gael.

Your husband wakes you in the middle of the night and says “if you’re going to sing in your sleep, please sing in a language I understand.”

As you’re reading in church, you run across an unfamiliar Hebrew word and, without missing a beat, pronounce it as if it were Irish (I’m fairly certain that “Beth-peor” isn’t supposed to be pronounced the way I said it that morning!)

You read this on Facebook — “I’ve had a very productive day today agus ceapaim go bhfuil beoir nó trí tuillte agam!” and don’t even notice it switches language in the middle of the sentence. (Wait…it switches languages?)

You want to say “thank you” to the nice man who brought you water in the local Mexican restaurant, but when you try to say “gracias!” what comes out of your mouth is “go raibh maith agat!”

A French-speaking friend types a sentence including the phrase “un chat” on her Facebook page and your first, knee-jerk, thought is “Why did she lenite it? ‘Cat’ is masculine!”

You see ‘teach more’ and you think it should be ‘teach mór‘ and then you realize it’s an article on education!  

You’re thinking in Irish, writing in English, and inadvertently post on Facebook in some hybrid form (must be where Hiberno-English came from!). 

You find yourself thinking “‘Wanker?’ I thought it was just the vocative of “‘banker'”.

You mix up languages mid-word! I showed up a bit early for a sean-nós lesson the other day, and the teacher asked me if I’d like a cup of tea. I started to say “No thanks…I’ve got water.” But just as I started to say “water,” my eye fell on my water bottle, and my brain helpfully supplied “uisce.” As my poor brain teetered helplessly between languages, what actually came out of my mouth was “no thanks…I’ve got whiskey!” (I knew I wanted an English word, but grabbed the wrong one out of the air!) I’m sure my poor teacher wondered what I was doing drinking whiskey at 11 a.m.!

You hear someone say, ‘Feck him, hey?’ and wonder what they are looking at.

Dhiú raoid d’fhios ait nórmal spaoi d’ain d’iondair stain duit.

You write relidious instead of religious  

After consuming a delicious Thai meal, you find yourself wondering if you’ve just eaten curaí rua or curaí dearg…or maybe curaí flannbhuí. (You also know you’ve been studying Irish too long when such distinctions keep you up at night!)

You stroll down the beer aisle and decide to pick up a nice bottle of “Stella ar-TISH.”

The people around you, who have never studied the language, know what you’re saying! I was at choir rehearsal the other day and the director said “get out the Batten” (as in “O sing joyfully,” by Adrian Batten). I was having trouble finding it in my folder, and muttered “Ca bhfuil sé…sin í an cheist!” and the person next to me helpfully answered “Orange book, page 70.” (She was texting at the time, so it wasn’t like she was watching me paw through my folder or anything like that).

Later on, my husband and I were at a local Mexican restaurant and a group of young people at the next table were being overly loud and…er…rather inappropriately demonstrative. I nudged hubby and said “Sílim go bhfuil siad ar meisce” and he said “I think you’re right.”

You want to “correct” ceapairí ham to ceapairí haim

You hear a TV ad for the antidepressant “Latuda” and think you’ve just heard “Fá dtaobh de” (and you wonder “Fá dtaobh de céard?”)

You realize you have absently labeled the chainsaw files “beag” and “mór” and your son can’t figure out which is which.

You name your new catCat Eile.”

You want to greet a visitor from France using your high school and college French, but can’t think of a sentence that doesn’t begin with “,” “is,” “an bhfuil” or “an.”

You look up “rithim” in your Irish dictionary because you never can remember how to spell “rhythm” in English.

You try to recall the Our Father or Hail Mary in Latin or French (both of which you’ve studied), but it somehow turns into Irish by the second or third line.

You find yourself taking a close look at people’s tattoos in the hopes of finding one of your translations.

Your daughter says she wants to go to Oakland Kraken Con and your first thought is “they have porn cons now?” 

Your dog responds to “goitse.”

Your Turn!

All of the above (and many more) were supplied by various members of The Irish Language Forum and by erstwhile members of the now-defunct Irish Gaelic Translation Forum (many of whom are one and the same).

Maybe you can think of more! Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!


In addition to being “The Geeky Gaeilgeoir,” Audrey Nickel is the author of  The Irish Gaelic Tattoo Handbook,” published by Bradan Press, Nova Scotia, Canada.  For information about the book, including where to buy it, please visit http://www.bradanpress.com/irish-tattoo-handbook/

Get Your Irish on in San Francisco!

Every September, when our hazy summer light begins to change to the clear, golden brightness of autumn, my mind turns toward my favorite event of the year: The San Francisco Deireadh Seachtaine Gaeltachta.

Every September, when our hazy summer light begins to change to the clear, golden brightness of autumn (Yes, we have seasons here on the California Central Coast, though sometimes you have to have lived here for a while to notice them!), my mind turns toward my favorite event of the year: The San Francisco Deireadh Seachtaine Gaeltachta.

This year’s Deireadh Seachtaine will be held from September 22 – 24 (6:00 p.m. Friday to 4:30 p.m. Sunday), at the United Irish Cultural Center (UICC), 2700 45th Avenue, in San Francisco’s Outer Sunset District. The cost is $420 per person, which includes tuition and meals. Lodging is not included, so folks coming from out of town will have to make their own arrangements, but the organizers (of which I am one this year) can help you find lodging and transit information if you’re not familiar with the city.

You can register and pay on-line here, or contact Seán Séamus Larkin at larkinmaps@gmail.com or at 415-299-0850 for information on how to pay by check.

 So What’s a Deireadh Seachtaine Gaeltachta?

Deireadh Seachtaine Gaeltachta (often affectionately shortened to “DSG”) means “Gaeltacht Weekend.” If you’re not familiar with the term, the word “gaeltacht” refers to the areas of Ireland where Irish is still spoken as a day-to-day language.

A DSG simulates a gaeltacht experience by immersing attendees in Irish language and culture. These events have been popping up all over the U.S. in the past 10 – 20 years, and are an absolute boon to Irish learners (not to mention a lot of fun!)

The San Francisco DSG is one of the granddaddies of the movement. We’re celebrating our 19th year in 2017!

Activities include fun, conversationally based classes interspersed with social-conversation opportunities over meals, drinks, and music (Lots of music! There is a wealth of Irish musicians in the greater San Francisco area, and a lot of them come out for this event).

But…But…I’m Just a BEGINNER!

I have to say, I hear this a lot. “I’m a beginner! I’m not ready for immersion yet!”

Here’s the thing: When you’re beginning is the IDEAL time to do an immersion course! There’s really no better way to get your learning off to a flying start!

The other cool thing is that these events are the best way I know of to connect with other Irish speakers and learners (you may be surprised at just how many there are in the Bay Area!). If you’ve been struggling to learn on your own (as many of us are at first), these events are how you make those connections that will support your learning for years to come.

And you won’t feel out of place because…

We’ve Got Your Level…

The San Francisco DSG offers four levels of classes (well, actually, four and a half. We’ll get to the “half” in a moment). No matter where you are with your Irish studies, we’ve got a level for you:

Level One: If you’re just beginning your Irish journey, or if you feel you need to review beginner basics, this is your level.

Level Two: This level is for lower intermediates. If you have a grasp of the basics and can participate in a simple conversation (“Haigh! Is mise Audrey! Cé thusa? Is scríbhneoir mé. Cén post atá agatsa?”), you’ll probable be happy growing your conversational skills here.

Level Three: If you understand and read Irish reasonably well and are seeking the confidence to make that wild leap into more conversation, this is the level for you. This is really an exciting point for most learners…right on the cusp of fluency! This group tends to have the widest range of students, from people just venturing out of level two to people about to make the move to level four.

Level Four: This level is for fluent or near-fluent speakers who want to polish up their spoken Irish, and/or explore the depths of the language, including modern terminology, folklore, and literature.

Level Four-and-a-Half*: The Children’s Class: One stand-out aspect of the San Francisco DSG is the special class for children. This level is geared toward youngsters who are fluent Irish speakers (typically the children of adults who are attending the course, most of whom use Irish at home). They join the adults for some of the activities, and go off with their teacher for others. It’s a great opportunity for Irish-speaking kids in The Bay Area, who might otherwise not have much opportunity to speak Irish with their peers.

* OK, I made this term up. We usually just call it “The Kids’ Class,” or “Rang na bPáistí.

…And Some First-Class Teachers

All our teachers are experienced at helping adult students have fun while learning. Each year’s teaching staff is organized with the help of Oideas Gael, the renowned Irish language and culture school in Donegal.

Our roster of outstanding teachers for 2017 includes:

Catríona Weafer, Level One

Bairbre Ní Chiardha, Level Two

Anna Ní Choirbín, Level Three

Aisling Ní Churraighín, Level Four

Orla Mc Garry, Children’s Class

And Then There’s the Location

I’ve attended immersion courses in all kinds of locations — including a college campus, an office building, and even a monastery —but the UICC is my favorite (and not only because this is my “home” DSG).

For one thing, the building itself has a lot of character.  From the outside it looks very secretive, due to the lack of windows. The first time I saw it, way back when I lived in the city in the 1980s, I thought it was some kind of Irish Masonic lodge! 

Step inside, though, and it’s a little like being transported to Ireland in the 1950s or 60s, especially in the restaurant and bar (which are the first things you see when you enter the building). There’s a warmth to it that I find very appealing.

The UICC also has wonderful facilities for hosting events such as this, from a kitchen that keeps us very well fed to a private dining room where we can get together for a sit-down lunch and dinner on Saturday. It also has a small Irish-themed library (which often holds a book sale on the Sunday of the DSG), plenty of rooms for class and gathering spaces and, of course, the bar (who doesn’t want a pint after a long day of learning?)

Its location is absolutely ideal. The Sunset is one of my favorite districts in the city. It’s a mostly quiet, mostly residential neighborhood that’s easy to get to by car or by transit and where it’s relatively easy to find free parking (a plus in San Francisco!).

The UICC is just steps from the beach and from the zoo, and there are a few good eating places nearby if you want something beyond what is on offer at the DSG (I’m especially fond of Java Beach, right around the corner from the UICC).

Also, with several bus lines operating in the area, as well as MUNI Metro’s L-Taraval street car line, it’s relatively easy to get just about anywhere in the city if you feel like adding a little sightseeing to your visit.

What’s not to love?

For More Information

For more information about the San Francisco Deireadh Seachtaine Gaeltachta, or to register, visit the official DSG web page, or contact Seán Séamus Larkin at 415-299-0850 or larkinmaps@gmail.com.

Hope to see you there!

GG


In addition to being “The Geeky Gaeilgeoir,” Audrey Nickel is the author of  The Irish Gaelic Tattoo Handbook,” published by Bradan Press, Nova Scotia, Canada.  For information about the book, including where to buy it, please visit http://www.bradanpress.com/irish-tattoo-handbook/